oxe - haugesund, norway

Rating:  2 / 10

If this wasn't the saddest burger on earth, I don't want to meet it's nemesis. Wrapped in the swanky air of a burger shop that "cares", with long lists of where they procure their beef, the aging process, trendy signs all meant to lure you into a false sense of security, and encourage you to open your wallet strings wider. I call bullshit.

Twenty fucking Euro's for THIS?

A lone suicidal tomato using a solitary pickle as a life-preserve as it inches away from the drowning catastrophe that is the Oxe cheeseburger. Lettuce placed on an untoasted bun with some squidges of mayo, a dry, unseasoned, tasteless patty with a lone slice of cheese perishing in the anonymity of depression. Three strands of caramelised onion (as if that would make a fucking difference) topped off the anti-party in your mouth, that deserved to be shoved off the counter and into the bin.

It is an insult to food to serve this. It is an abomination to the cattle that perished. This place should shut it's doors and refund all it's customers in the hope that the memory of their burgers disappear into the moist bite of Haugesund winter.

In the city famous for heroin addicts, you'd have to be bombed out of your skull to enjoy this. 

These recommendations are just personal opinions based on my palate, things change, chefs get fired or replaced, places open-close, relocate, so take it all with a pinch of MSG  and discover your own gems too. But please do try a few of these, they have been researched exhaustively.